In every relationship, there needs to be a healthy balance of your own time and time spent with your partner. Meaning you will want to find things to do alone and focus on yourself, but also take time to be in the relationship. Focusing on yourself is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship.
How can you focus on yourself in a relationship? You can practice self-love, find things to do alone, be with your friends, and set yourself goals. You can do all of this alone, while still being in a relationship.
There will always be a healthy balance of couple time versus your time. It is essential to know when you need space, and when you feel like you have been spending too much time with your partner.
You are both allowed to live individual lives while still coming together to embrace each other.
Developing self-love
Self-love is one of the biggest things people forget in a relationship. A new relationship is exciting and fun, and you want to be with each other all the time. That’s great!
However, what happens when the fire burning inside slowly dwindles down?
It is crucial to take it slow and provide yourself with enough space, especially at the beginning of a relationship. It not only allows you to keep loving yourself fully, but it will enable you to focus on what makes you feel good other than your partner.
When you learn to love yourself, the love for your partner will grow tremendously.
Self-love tips
- EXERCISE – Find one activity you love to do alone, and focus on your body! If you love hiking, take a solo hike to self-reflect and enjoy your own company. If you like to jog, go on a jog and think about all the things life has to offer you.
- TRY SOMETHING NEW – If you usually do new things with your partner, it’s time to step out of your comfort zone. Start with something small and work your way up to doing big and new things alone.
- FIND YOUR PASSION – If you love art, make a goal of going to all the local art museums, grab a glass of wine and study the things you love. Try to get back to the core of your personality, listening ONLY to your own inner voice. What do you feel like doing in your FREE time alone?
- BE WITH YOUR FRIENDS – Just because you have a partner doesn’t mean you have to give up other relationships. One person should not fill your whole life; different people are in your life to serve different needs. Don’t rely on one person; it puts too much pressure on a situation.
These tips are just a starting point. There are many ways to practice self-love and many ways to focus on yourself. You have to be willing to experiment a little and find out what works best for you. Keep in mind that your partner also needs their time, and you’re going to have to respect each other’s alone time.
Importance of communication in a relationship
Communicating your needs in a relationship should be one of the biggest things you focus on in a relationship. This will ensure you both understand when you need alone time without causing a fight or argument. Concentrating on yourself should never lead to a cold shoulder, a conflict, or anything toxic. If you go every day hanging out and then all of a sudden need alone time, you will have to find the proper way to communicate why you need this time. In the long run, it will be beneficial to the relationship when you have the correct amount of space for your personal lifestyle.
Why communication is essential:
- BOUNDARIES – Communication will help you set boundaries as well as expectations. If you need Monday “me” days, it’s critical to set that expectation early on. Communicating openly about it will help avoid significant fights.
- MISUNDERSTANDINGS – Open communication will help you avoid misunderstandings about what you want and need from your partner.
- UNDERSTANDING – It will help both you and your partner get to know each other on a more personal level. You will both have a clear understanding of what you want in a relationship and go forward from there. You will be able to fully embrace each other when communication is open.
- ANXIETY – There will be less anxiety. You will not have to feel like you are walking on eggshells. Being open and honest with your partner can set a healthy tone for the future of your relationship.
Bad communication can create a toxic relationship, and that is something you need to avoid. Creating a way, you both can openly talk about personal needs, and what you would like to work on as individuals and couples will be the foundation of your relationship.
“You” days
Setting aside specific days just for yourself is crucial in a relationship. If you spend every single day together, it will get old fast. You will get bored with each other easier, and you will feel like you’re neglecting yourself. There are many things you can do on your days alone to feel productive and happy.
- JOURNAL – You can write in your journal or blog about your weekly activities. Blog about what makes you happy.
- COOKING – Cook your favorite meal without having to share on your days!
- FARMER’S MARKET – Go to a farmer’s market and buy every fresh vegetable you love.
- ANIMALS – Spend time with your animals.
- CLASSES – Take a free online class to develop a skill you have always wanted.
There are many activities to do on your days alone, and they can all give you a sense of accomplishment. It is important to celebrate how unique you are and acknowledge that you and your partner are different people.
Healthy habits couples can practice
These habits can help build a healthy relationship, and show each other you care for your partner.
- CONNECTING – After a long day, finding time to connect for a few minutes. Over time this will help us trust and feel intimate with our partner. It’s important to have your own time, but it is also essential to connect with your partner on a deeper level.
- COOKING – Preparing a meal together is a great way to have fun together and connect after a busy day.
- SAYING SORRY – When someone makes a mistake, he says sorry, and the other forgives. There are no more hard feelings, and you both genuinely mean what you say to each other. If you do not forgive your partner, it is essential to communicate that. Always mean what you say in a relationship.
- ACKNOWLEDGING EACH OTHER – You find ways to let your partner know you are thinking of them. It shows affection and helps build the connection to a higher standard.
These are just a few tips healthy couples can practice; there are much more that are unique and depend on both your personalities.
Final Thoughts
Focusing on you in the relationship may seem selfish. Still, it is absolutely essential for you to be able to do this in a relationship. In the long run, it will create a healthy way for you and your partner to be individuals and value each other for those differences.
Relationships are all different, and you need to focus on different things, depending on what is right for you. Some people require more time to focus on themselves to feel comfortable in a relationship, and that’s completely okay. It is essential to talk openly about alone time so you can truly focus on yourself and figure out what is right for you and what works with the lifestyle you have. Each couple will come to different terms; there isn’t one exact answer for every couple in the world; it is entirely based on you.
